Building Relationships to the Glory of God! Memories

 I witnessed Friday afternoon an extraordinary example of this kind of building. All six of us siblings sat at my mother’s dining room table sharing memories, asking for prayers and receiving assurances of love and forgiveness and acceptance. Some of my brothers and sisters needed to heal their relationships, and we all needed to pray for my brother Larry and his wife, Diane, who remains on a breathing machine.

            As I led prayer for all of us, we invoked God’s name and healing power to enable us to give and receive the gift of family, both the present and the past. I have come to realize more than ever the healing power of memories shared and sanctified.

            Jesus said of the woman who poured very expensive perfume on Jesus’ head, “ Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”(Matthew 26:13) This was a selfless act of using something valuable to anoint Jesus. He indicated to his indignant disciples that she did it to anoint his body for burial.

            Sharing memories of selfless acts of service really encourages the body of Christ. Since 2003 I have many memories of our brothers and sisters in Christ here at Highland View who have done selfless things in the name of Jesus, and these acts have been told and retold in memory of that person.

            Memories become the eternal cement of the blocks of our individual contributions to the house of God being built by faithful lives. These stories of faithfulness encourage and build each one of us up. 

            The Apostle Paul says it this way, “¹⁶ Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? ¹⁷ If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple”(1 Corinthians 3:16, 17).

Christian leaders who are transformational understand this quote from Paul. Helping people access and treasure their memories are a way of building the temple of God together. It may even be viewed as the mortar that holds the individual blocks together. 

          Precious memories, how they linger!

In Christian love, Curtis

Social Investment: Building Relationships in the Body of Christ [4]

       

          Eight years ago 68,000 Americans who attend church services were interviewed. The answers suggested that “Americans may select their congregations primarily because of theology and worship, but the social investment made within that congregation is what appears to keep them there” [Putnam, Robert D.; Campbell, David E. (2010). American Grace. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Publishers; pages 172-174.].

          This data suggests what I have anecdotally seen and suspected over the past 42 years of pastoral ministry. People remain in a congregation where meaningful relationships are established and maintained. Because of this dynamic, there a several “church-dynamic-truths” that are a corollary to this.

          First, relationships are meaningful in different ways. Different types of relationships are established among brothers and sisters in Christ. Consequently, those variety of connections carry different meanings of significance.

          Second, opportunities for healthy relationships to be established must continually be offered by the church. Small groups, Bible classes, informal groups that eat out together, service project groups, etc.—these all provide such contexts for relationships to occur.

          Third, maintaining healthy relationships in the body of Christ is hard, ongoing work. Relationships inherently mean conflict of some sort. But, those times of conflict provide wonderful opportunities for understanding and growth.

          Fourth, it takes a drastic change of theology or worship for a person to break off meaningful relationships to go elsewhere. When a person leaves a congregation they may either feel unimportant, or there has been a change of theology/worship so drastic they cannot process it or accept it. In those cases, it becomes a matter of one’s conscience being stronger than the relationships that have been forged. Such dynamic is rarely taken seriously in most congregations.

Biblically, here is Paul’s recipe for social investment:

“Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.   And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians, 3:12-14 ).

          As Christian leaders it is our calling and responsibility to model “social investment.” Do we ourselves have a variety of social connections that demonstrate to others how crucial we believe body life is? Do we as Christians have a creative, imaginative way of providing all sorts of contexts in the church for body life to occur? Do we as Christians leaders demonstrate for others the hard work that must go into maintaining healthy relationships in the body of Christ? Do we as Christian leaders take seriously others who defect? Do we care enough to conduct exit interviews? Do we care enough to tell them we care?

          Transformational leaders who model authenticity in their Christian walk will take the above questions seriously. One final question remains here: when others think of us, do they immediately sense that we embody genuine care for others, and that we invest in the lives of others? It is this kind of modeling that will impact generations to come for the cause of the kingdom!

In Christian love, Curtis

Shared Commonality: Building Relationships in the Body of Christ [3]

For too long Christians have seen congregations form and disband because of divisive differences. These differences often define a “crisis of community.” With God’s help, there is only one way to defeat this strategy that Satan has so often successfully employed over the centuries. When Christians focus on their “shared commonality” this helps create the practical path of the Spirit’s power to create unity among God’s people.

            This “shared commonality” is made up of emotional bonds, like-mindedness, and symbols [Wendell Willis, (2011-2012). “The Erosion of Community: A Challenge to the Church.” Christian Studies 25: 11.;  Arthur P. Cohen, (1985). The Symbolic Construction of Community. Chichester, England: Ellis Horwood, Ltd., page 20ff.]

            Emotional bonds come from a deep heart of love for one another. Jesus promoted this kind of relationship with the following: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” [John 13:34, 35].

            Like-mindedness comes from a deep heart of respect and deference for one another. Paul says it this way:  “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” [Philippians 2:4]. The mindset of Jesus was always thinking of others first, giving up self and claims of superiority.

            Symbols help bring to visual and experiential level what the heart most embraces with others. This is behind Paul’s questions: “¹⁶ Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? ¹⁷ Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf” [1 Corinthians 10:16-17].

            As Christian leaders we model these three things: a deep heart of love for others with strong emotional bonds, a like-mindedness for others with respect and deference, and helping others to experience appropriate symbols that reflect the common faith.

            I remember years ago that a friend of mine reminded me that Christian leaders are living symbols of unity among God’s people. This is why it is so critical for each one of us to intentionally embody our “shared commonality.” This gets at the heart of authentic, transformational leadership. What is most real and life-changing is what we desperately need to be modeling for others. Anyone can boss. Not everyone can embody!

            May God give us a strong, shared commonality that finds its expression in the emotional bonds of deep love, a like-mindedness of Jesus, and participation in common symbols of our faith. What richness and depth this commonality brings to our relationships in Christ!

In Christian love, Curtis