This data
suggests what I have anecdotally seen and suspected over the past 42 years of
pastoral ministry. People remain in a
congregation where meaningful relationships are established and maintained. Because
of this dynamic, there a several “church-dynamic-truths” that are a corollary
to this.
First,
relationships are meaningful in different ways. Different types of
relationships are established among brothers and sisters in Christ.
Consequently, those variety of connections carry different meanings of
significance.
Second,
opportunities for healthy relationships to be established must continually be
offered by the church. Small groups, Bible classes, informal groups that eat
out together, service project groups, etc.—these all provide such contexts for
relationships to occur.
Third, maintaining
healthy relationships in the body of Christ is hard, ongoing work.
Relationships inherently mean conflict of some sort. But, those times of
conflict provide wonderful opportunities for understanding and growth.
Fourth, it
takes a drastic change of theology or worship for a person to break off
meaningful relationships to go elsewhere. When a person leaves a congregation
they may either feel unimportant, or there has been a change of
theology/worship so drastic they cannot process it or accept it. In those
cases, it becomes a matter of one’s conscience being stronger than the
relationships that have been forged. Such dynamic is rarely taken seriously in
most congregations.
Biblically, here is Paul’s
recipe for social investment:
“Therefore
as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and
forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as
the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which
binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians, 3:12-14 ).
As Christian leaders it is our calling
and responsibility to model “social investment.” Do we ourselves have a variety
of social connections that demonstrate to others how crucial we believe body
life is? Do we as Christians have a creative, imaginative way of providing all
sorts of contexts in the church for body life to occur? Do we as Christians
leaders demonstrate for others the hard work that must go into maintaining
healthy relationships in the body of Christ? Do we as Christian leaders take
seriously others who defect? Do we care enough to conduct exit interviews? Do
we care enough to tell them we care?
Transformational leaders who model
authenticity in their Christian walk will take the above questions seriously.
One final question remains here: when others think of us, do they immediately
sense that we embody genuine care for others, and that we invest in the lives
of others? It is this kind of modeling that will impact generations to come for
the cause of the kingdom!
In
Christian love, Curtis
1 comment:
I think you hit on the crux of the issue most people have with the institution of "church" and not just a congregational failing. It has been my experience that relationships are not intentionally nurtured and are more often times used for advancement or exploitation than as a way to strengthen the body.
People can find sound doctrine all over the place; it's the relationship aspect people are looking for. People want to feel like they are important and that they matter. They want to feel like they have something to contribute to the whole and that this contribution makes the whole better. They do not want to be talked down to or treated less-than.
People seem to forget that one of the purposes of the church is for relationship ("fellowship"). It isn't any less important than evangelism or discipleship. It isn't any less important than stewardship, prayer, fasting or any other discipline. God designed us to live in community. He even said that it was not good for man to be alone. Relationships are key. How are we expected to have a healthy relationship with God if we cannot have a healthy relationship with other believers?
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