Trapped

“I do not understand my own behavior; I do not act as I mean to, but I do things that I hate.” (Romans 7:15)

“Paul’s cry of anguish has a universal ring to it. Who of us has not felt deeply the frustration of being trapped in addictive behaviors from which we would like to be delivered? Those behaviors that have become deep wounds in our spirits? Those that keep our true selves in bondage?” [Seasons of Your Heart: Prayers & Reflections, by Macrina Wiederkerhr; page 9.]

This reading was part of my devotional time this morning. I suppose it is reassuring to know that Paul also struggled with giving in to his false self. He did not understand his own behavior at times, and why he went ahead did the very thing he despised and hated.

In our daily struggle against sin our most difficult battles are with those addictive behaviors that trap us. We feel trapped because we can so no end in sight. We have seemingly tried everything, but nothing has freed us.

What are some of those behaviors that cause deep wounds in our spirit?

Work that reinforces alienation
Religious activities borne out of guilt
Gluttony designed to comfort our inner wounded-ness
Domination of others to cover our own inadequacies
Compulsive behaviors that are self-destructive
Financial scrooge to create our own safety net
Enabling dysfunctional family members
Neurotic sense of illness to vie for people’s attention

The list could go on and on. It is only a life in the Spirit that can courageously confront and expose these addictive behaviors. This is the true freedom for the true self that the Spirit of God offers. The Christian life lived in the resurrection power of God and the indwelling presence of the Spirit is the only way to escape entrapment. It is not fair, but the Devil is trying to entrap us. My own personal reflection makes me too painfully aware of how successful he has been in the past.

“But thanks be to God…because through Jesus Christ the law of the Spirit has set me free from the law of sin and death!” (Romans 8:2)

In Christian love, Curtis

P.S. Those of us in Christian ministry know all too well how our own addictive behaviors can be disguised as "Religious Work." This can actually build a wall between us and the Lord we say we are speaking and ministering on behalf of. Unfortunately, much of traditional ministry expectations do not lend themselves for a minister's openness and transparency. But we have to constantly monitor our hearts because we are in heart business.